When you Finish a Project, You’re Actually Building Willpower | Kris With a K | Writing Coach
It’s Life Changing.
It feels good like the second-to-last bite of a big café cupcake good (second-to-last, because there’s still one more bite left to look forward to, but you’ve had enough that you can slow down and savour it).
That’s good, Kitten.
Looking at a creative project that you’ve completed – especially a long, difficult one that you didn’t always know you’d complete – is an amazing feeling.
It’s never exactly what you expected it to be – sure – but it’s done. And it’s yours. And it’s DONE! Like we always say: Done is Better than Perfect!
And sometimes, it gets really darn close to perfect too. When that happens? It’s time to cue the trumpets and have yourself a parade, because that is something worth celebrating.
In fact, go get a cupcake too! What’s a celebration without a cupcake?
But that feeling isn’t even the best part of following through on your plans.
When you complete a difficult task – the kind that lead to giving yourself a lecture or two (see last week’s post about self-lecturing…ahem…pep-talking) – it is believed to actually change the way your mind works.
Yup. Brain stuff!
I did a little reading about willpower while I was building worksheets and planning programs for my clients, and I found this tidbit on the APA website:
[wc_testimonial by= url=”” position=”left”]In 2011, 27 percent of Stress in America survey respondents reported that lack of willpower was the most significant barrier to change. Yet although many people blame faulty willpower for their imperfect choices, it’s clear they haven’t given up hope. A majority of respondents believe that willpower is something that can be learned. Those respondents are on to something. Recent research suggests some ways in which willpower can in fact be strengthened with practice.[/wc_testimonial]
Oh Mama! We totally do that, right? We blame our lack of willpower for each of our flops or our I-give-ups, as though we are faulty and broken. We talked about this last week, didn’t we? About how we aren’t flawed and broken people in a sea of magical-doers.
There is no secret ingredient that you can put in your tea to make you a SUPER-POWERED doer who never falters and always finishes her projects, BUT there is hope. We can strengthen our couch-potato-willpower by using it more…especially when things are hard.
Click to Tweet: Every time we fail – and then get back up – we build our WillPower muscles…so GET BACK UP!
Practising resilience now builds your ability to be more resilient in the future, AND finally succeeding at a task that has involved failure and re-trying, actually makes you more apt to do so again.
And that leads to momentum – and then more completed projects – and then MORE willpower.
It is an awesome thing!
Massive Willpower muscles will help me say no to a second cupcake, but how will it help my Biz?
Oh, Kitten. It will change everything. Every. Single. Thing.
- You will be able to show your integrity every time you follow-through with a project, plan or promise.
- Your clients and customers will have more and more trust in you and your word.
- Your projects will get more ambitious, exciting and amazing.
- Your laundry will get folded…like the day after you washed it, instead of a week later.
- You will clear out the icky tasks that bog you down and live on your shoulders, so that you can spend more time doing the creative work you love.
- You’ll do more of the yoga/running/quilting you promised to yourself last month (I know…the New Year’s Resolution is still a hanging shadow in my home too).
…and the absolutely MOST important thing that developing your willpower through resilience and small successes will do for your business?
- It will make you feel proud and good-enough and like the legitimate business owner that you are.
So every time you face a project and it feels like it’s crumbling around you, think about the ways you can turn it into a success (I recently wrote a post about what helps me. Check it out, if you’re struggling).
Take your successes when they come, Kitten!
Take the big ones, and the small ones, and hold them up until they catch the light.
These are the things that will float you when you flounder (because you will, even if you have an iron-strong will), and they will energize you when you feel like a walking pillow-tester. Success is like eleven cups of coffee for an exhausted mind. Fact.
And if you are floundering right now? Step back from the mess for a minute and do this thing: Remember the things you’ve done. Remember the hardest successes you have won (even the ones that didn’t come with a parade), and taste that cupcake again.
It’s yours. You made it. EAT IT UP!
Now I’m hungry…I gotta go…uh…bring the kids to the coffee shop.
But I’m only going to have ONE cupcake – because I’m working out my willpower.
Check out my VIP Days to see how I can help you Plan your Brand – and follow through.
xo
You mad? Excited? Have a perspective to share? Please do!
15 Comments
Leave a Comment
Want to read more? Check out these recent articles.
The Joy of Writing: Find it in these three places to use on a rainy day.
Scene: you’re at your desk, hands dancing over the keys. Click clack clickity clackity click clack – swish. Now, layer that satisfying typewriter sound with a movie soundtrack in a major key – both invigorating and also somehow relaxing. The victory song – the joy of writing. There’s steam dancing from a coffee cup that…
Writing Resistance: The War of Art, or an Emotional Tiger Hunt?
Four rules to help you avoid Writing Resistance (and tiger bites) even when you’re stressed.
Intrinsic Writing Motivation isn’t built on guilt or shame.
Writing motivation comes in two forms. One works better than the other, but they’re both important – and neither should hurt.
Why you shouldn’t write King Lear right now, and what to do instead.
Oh there’s that meme again. You know the one about Shakespeare writing King Lear during the plague, or whatever. Or the other one saying that you never lacked “time” but rather you lack “discipline” unless you create or learn or complete some amazing life-goal right now. Maybe it’s a stream of pictures of *perfectly baked*…
“Just Start,” is the worst advice I’ve ever heard…or given.
I think those two words have hurt me more than my three worst ex-boyfriends…combined! Not because it’s bad advice to tell a person to just start the things they want to create. But because productivity for productivity’s sake – sucks. “Just Start!” is great advice if the problem you’re having is that you have a…
If I had a Writers’ Sub Box for #30DaysWithaK today, what would I put in it?
One of the key elements of a rich Writing Practice is the act of purposefully adding a sense joy & luxury to it. That doesn’t mean that you have to scream-laugh while you draft a blog post – or purchase a solid gold desktop to hide behind. But it does mean that we can find…
Hi Girl!
Yes, yes! I love your writing style, Kris 🙂 And I so agree! The other thing this makes me think of is the fact that when you do something hard and accomplish it, you are building your self-esteem. Self-esteem doesn’t grow from doing the same old things that you have already mastered, it comes from overcoming challenges. More self-esteem = more confidence = more of a pro demeanor = more awesome growth in life and business! You go, girl! Keep up the awesomeness 🙂 xoxo, Jen
You are right! It’s like the opposite of a vicious cycle…it’s a sweet, sweet cycle 🙂
You keep up your awesomeness too, girl!
xo
K
I love how you say to treat ourselves like legitimate business owners. How often do we self-sabotage with “I’m not for real” thoughts. Even my 9 year old gets it! He said to me one day, “Mom, you know you have 2 jobs right?” YES!! I do! Go pro and work it baby!! 🙂
YASSSS!
You are legitimate. You are for real. Tell yourself this – Every. Single. DAY!
xo
K
Alright, you had me at “Your laundry will get folded…” Okay, okay, let’s be honest, you had me at “CUPCAKE!” I do want to feel proud and like a legitamate business owner, so I guess I better pick myself up off the floor…ur, outa bed? and power through! Thanks Kris!
Aim for 1 small victory today, Renay!
And then celebrate the crap out of it 🙂 The rest will follow.
xo
K
Get out of my head! Seriously!
It’s like we’re riding this acrosstheothersideoftheworld wave together. I was literally running around the house last night doing a Victory lap after FINALLY having a win with my landing page and getting it done – It has been torture. But I felt this ping – I thought it might of been my neck – but it was an IDEA and then BAM.. landing page complete! It was like all the planets aligned and I was hanging in the milky way… mmm milky way (have you got them over there?! – the chocolate bar I mean). Anyways.. had my win, did a big ol TICK in my planner that I completed something (finally) – then funny you mentioned it – I A) went for a run then B) folded all my washing – 4 loads of it (not bad for 2 people….) because I was all pumped about how fan-freaking-tastic I really can be!
Now I’m onto my next one.. which is awesome because I get to think about something different but still kinda samezies…
After I eat… because talking about cupcakes has mad my tummy rumble. So thanks for that. I will enjoy my healthy WillPower Sandwich (flexes my massive cannons that don’t exist)
Keep it up you little Superstar from an out of this world Galaxy you! Love your work – literally. Oh and see you (my) Saturday! Booyah!
Bahahahahahah!!!
Tracy, you crack me up. I can’t wait for our Valentine’s date. Get your notebook and pen ready. We’ve got some plannin’ a-do!
You’re super right about that momentum too. I know that I get WAY more done just after I finish a huge project – even though I’m usually sleep deprived and at the end of a stress tunnel – because of that fire you feel when you tick the checkmark in the ToDo box 🙂
See you soooon!
xo
K
Massive Willpower…I love the image of it being a muscle that you can grow! “Yes, a small wind will blow me over, but check out my willpower muscle…argh!!” 🙂 And I wish you could bottle that feeling of finally finishing that thing that you were totally stuck on forever, because it certainly does come with its own momentum. I am just now thinking that it might be fun to start posting little photos of these finished projects on the bulletin board over my desk to remind myself that yes, I can, and will, get to the end of the next hurdle! Thanks for your weekly doses of wisdom!
I LOVE that idea, Andrea!
Post a picture of it on instagram when you do, and tag me! I’d love to see your happy little zone of small victories 🙂
xo
K
Get out of my head!! Just kidding, you can stay there.
(Just try not to trip over anything, it’s pretty messy in there)
I am amazed at how excited I feel to get up and go work each morning, when just the night before I was a sobbing heap. Not every night, but a lot of them. Eyes on the prize, Baby!
xo,
rs
Yeeeeaaaah!!!
(Braveheart-style, rallying cry)
Let’s do ALL of the things, Red! I’m getting even more excited about 2015. Every time Winter makes me sad and sends me back to bed with another fever or ANOTHER 2 feet of snow (there’s another blizzard happening this weekend), I feel even more purpose when I get back up.
Thanks, in large part, to you guys!
xo
K
PS – I just pictured us hanging out inside your head, and it looked like the inside of Genie’s lamp on I Dream of Genie – but with dogs and craft supplies 🙂
Love it! (And now I have a hankerin’ for a red velvet cupcake. 😉
I immediately went to the store and got a package of cupcakes with B. I literally said, “I mentioned cupcakes in my blog post; we HAVE to go get some for the photo. It’s for work” 🙂
xo
K